Cool With The Boss

"And you know, with George Steinbrenner, he's a tough boss; I acknowledge that. You can't pick and choose the piece of your boss that you want to keep and the other piece you don't want to keep. You have to understand that it's the package. If you're gonna take his money, you're gonna have to take the criticism. That's something you just have to know going in. This keeps you from overreacting." - Joe Torre, multiple World Series winning coach

A co-worker once approached me suggesting that I inform a boss that his conduct was adversely affecting others. But even had it been one of my own team members telling me this, I don't think that's how it works. In my view, healthy relationships aren't about trying to change each other. There are exceptions. If the boss had been walking around with a gasoline can and menacing people with a lighter. Or if the boss were the type who invited feedback. But in my experience few people are that way - most are exceedingly comfortable with who they are, myself included. It's often unrealistic to expect them to change their "flaws," unless we're ready to change things in ourselves in return that we may not see as "flaws." To paraphrase Joe, we can love who they are, rather than focusing on who they're not. And if you can't, it's probably time to move on.